Thursday, June 26, 2008

Scott: Balding Buddies

Ryan and I were looking at pictures today. There were some noticeably good ones, but the things I felt stood out the most were our receding hair lines. A couple of years ago the question of whether we just had larger than average widow's peaks or we were balding was debatable, but now it is clear that we are in fact the latter. As we look into our visibly crowned futures, we realize this is something that we have to deal with. Our mother's fathers both went through follicly challenged lives and their mother's fathers before them. It is inevitable that we are required to bare the same burden.

So, in a last ditch effort to document my thick, somewhat feathered hair, I am growing it out for the summer. Right now it's kind of a mullet, but I'm hoping that will change soon. It is time to bid adieu to my golden locks and say hello to a trimmed head of hair. After all I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. There are so many things I've yet to accomplish. Trying out for American Idol, becoming a famous actor/model (and not the other way around), and pulling my mane back into a Gaston-esque pony tail. I've only a summer to do this and I am determined to accomplish my goals, however unreachable they may seem.

Ryan and I were talking about our meek hairless futures by the fire when a single tear rolled down my cheek. (It was actually my nose, but the cheek sounds more classically romantic.) The tear was not a reaction to our conversation, but a reaction to our bonfire's smoke in the eyes. Other tear producing possibilities include allergies, subconscious thoughts of an uncertain future, and the beauty of Ryan's face in the sunset. Sometimes my eyes just leak. I don't know why. Anyway, it came at an incredible moment, and I'm assuming it evaporated in the fire.

We wasted our attractive youths and it is quite possibly all down hill from here. Now I have to rely on my personality, and who knows how far that will get me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty sexy - but I was like a 10. Now I'm a 9.5 at most. Damn you mother's father's mother's father! Damn you.

2 comments:

Rob said...

Don't worry about it. You know who else is bald? John McClane. And he successfully fought off terrorists in 4 separate movies.

Heidi said...

This mother is ever so sorry, but I'm sure you will both turn out fine - hair or not. If you're going to be bald, this is the right time for it, since shaved heads is "in."